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18 Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire;
he breaks out against all sound judgment.
A fool takes no pleasure in understanding,
but only in expressing his opinion.
When wickedness comes, contempt comes also,
and with dishonor comes disgrace.
The words of a man’s mouth are deep waters;
the fountain of wisdom is a bubbling brook.
It is not good to be partial to the wicked
or to deprive the righteous of justice.
A fool’s lips walk into a fight,
and his mouth invites a beating.
A fool’s mouth is his ruin,
and his lips are a snare to his soul.
The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels;
they go down into the inner parts of the body.
Whoever is slack in his work
is a brother to him who destroys.
The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous man runs into it and is safe.
A rich man’s wealth is his strong city,
and like a high wall in his imagination.
Before destruction a man’s heart is haughty,
but humility comes before honor.
If one gives an answer before he hears,
it is his folly and shame.
A man’s spirit will endure sickness,
but a crushed spirit who can bear?
An intelligent heart acquires knowledge,
and the ear of the wise seeks knowledge.
A man’s gift makes room for him
and brings him before the great.
The one who states his case first seems right,
until the other comes and examines him.
The lot puts an end to quarrels
and decides between powerful contenders.
A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city,
and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.
From the fruit of a man’s mouth his stomach is satisfied;
he is satisfied by the yield of his lips.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruits.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the LORD.
The poor use entreaties,
but the rich answer roughly.
A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
(ESV)
Communication is essential for life, and it’s a big part of how we reach the world as Christians. A lot of times you hear the phrase, “It’s not what you say, but how you say it.” As I read Proverbs 18, I can’t help but think that many times our communication practices are riddled with dysfunction.
“A fool does not delight in understanding, but only wants to show off his opinions.”
Proverbs 18:2 HCSB
“A fool’s lips lead to strife, and his mouth provokes a beating. 7 A fool’s mouth is his devastation, and his lips are a trap for his life.”
Proverbs 18:6-7 HCSB
I stumbled upon great quote this week from Preston Sprinkle (professor of biblical studies at Eternity Bible College). He was responding to a woman who critically reviewed his book. He said this…
“She doesn’t reflect on my journey, only disagrees with my destination, and never mentions how I arrived there.”
Preston Sprinkle
Words matter. Tone matters. Yes, everyone has a “right” to their opinion. But in the family of God, there are standards. Foolish people do not want to listen or understand. They only want to talk. And I would argue that there are many people within God’s Kingdom who use their words foolishly.
“We find again that the fool is a source of trouble. He is the one who is always stirring up contention, issuing complaints, finding fault. We can give another fitting modern proverb: “Be considerate. Most people know how to express a complaint, but few utter a gracious compliment. The bee is seldom complimented for making honey; it is just criticized for stinging.” How true!”
J. Vernon McGee
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I hope that I don't come across this way I want to listen to God and others thoughts. As I was reading the commentary just now my thoughts went to a conversation I had earlier today where the conversation was monopolized by my life and this was a step out of my comfort zone and I had not talked about it openly to anyone except family and my close friend in probably 20 years. As I have grown in the Lord I find that I am beginning to share more and am finding that my experiences can help others that maybe are going through a similar situation.