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1 Paul, a prisoner for Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother,
To Philemon our beloved fellow worker and Apphia our sister and Archippus our fellow soldier, and the church in your house:
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.
Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you—I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus—I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.) I am sending him back to you, sending my very heart. I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother—especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.
So if you consider me your partner, receive him as you would receive me. If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it—to say nothing of your owing me even your own self. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.
Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say. At the same time, prepare a guest room for me, for I am hoping that through your prayers I will be graciously given to you.
Epaphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ Jesus, sends greetings to you, and so do Mark, Aristarchus, Demas, and Luke, my fellow workers.
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.
(ESV)
Paul offers us a lesson in diplomacy and peacemaking. At the time, Paul was a prisoner in Rome and his friend Philemon was stationed in Colossae. We don’t know all the details but it seems that Onesimus is running away from his past. The letter implies that Onesimus is a rebellious slave of Philemon’s who is fleeing Colossae to take refuge in Rome. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, Onesimus met up with Paul who eventually led him to Jesus.
Philemon was not only Onesimus’ master but also a model Christian who was holding church gatherings at his home. The church at Colossae was not founded by Paul nor did he ever visit there. The church likely began out of Paul’s ministry in Ephesus. The crime of Onesimus was heavy. He not only ran away, but he stole money from Philemon. Both the Roman law as well as the Old Testament law gave a slave owner the green light to punish this kind of rebellion.
“If a slave ran away, the master would register the name and description with the officials, and the slave would be on the “wanted” list. Any free citizen who found a runaway slave could assume custody and even intercede with the owner. The slave was not automatically returned to the owner, nor was he automatically sentenced to death. While it is true that some masters were cruel (one man threw his slave into a pool of man-eating fish!), many of them were reasonable and humane. After all, a slave was an expensive and useful piece of personal property, and it would cost the owner to lose him.”
-Warren Wiersbe
With his diplomatic approach, Paul draws Philemon into accountability with Jesus. Yes, Onesimus had wronged him. Yes, it was a punishable offense. Yes, he had stolen money and left Philemon without a worker in his household. But Philemon was once living in rebellion to Jesus before Paul led him to Christ. So, in a very gentle way, Paul is reminding him that whatever he chooses to do with Onesimus should be in line with what Jesus has done for him.
Notice, Paul doesn’t tell Philemon what to do. He appeals to relationships. It is about his relationship with Philemon, but more importantly, it is about Philemon’s relationship with Christ.
“Paul’s friendship with Philemon is shown by something significantly missing in his greeting. Of the 13 letters Paul wrote to churches or individuals, in 9 of them he called himself an apostle in the opening verse. In this letter (along with Philippians , 1 and 2 Thessalonians), Paul appealed to his reader more as a friend and less an apostle.”
-David Guzik
“While Paul’s imprisonment represents his missionary identity, it is Jesus for whom Paul is imprisoned. The response Paul strongly desires from Philemon springs from his orientation toward discipleship: because of Christ Jesus, Philemon should respond favorably toward Onesimus, even though it may be costly and at odds with the surrounding social order.”
-IVP New Testament Commentary
On top of this, this letter really highlights the issue of identity. Onesimus should no longer be viewed as a slave. The greater relationship he has to both Paul and Philemon is as a brother in Christ. Philemon’s role as “master” and Onesimus’ role as “slave” were secondary to the identities they shared as children of God.
This is a great teaching point for us today. Do we favor our secular titles over our spiritual identity? It would have been fair and right (according to the laws at the time) for Philemon to punish Onesimus. The world wouldn’t have blinked. But for a true follower of Christ, their new identity must guide all decisions and behaviors. Paul actually sees this as an opportunity for Philemon to demonstrate to the world that his allegiance and decision-making is rooted solely in Jesus Christ. Just in case Philemon was having doubts, Paul threw in one last gentle reminder. God willing, he will be coming to visit Philemon and will no doubt be checking up on this situation to see how everything has turned out.
“Finally, Paul delicately reminds his friend, in Phm 1:19, that Philemon owed him a great deal more than a trifle of money, namely, his spiritual life. Does not our Lord address us in similar terms? We surely owe ourselves to Him!”
-F.B. Meyer