Suffering often produces an emotional rollercoaster. We are emotional beings who can swing violently from low to high and back to low all within the same hour. We don’t like to admit it though. The expectation (especially for Christians) is that we have our lives in order. We must present ourselves as healthy, stable individuals who trust God and experience joy every day. Of course, this isn’t reality. It’s true that God provides the consistent foundation to stand on, but we wander physically, mentally and emotionally as we respond to the corrupt and sinful world around us.
Psalm 55 is all over the map. At best, David’s writing translates as a man emotionally scarred. At worst, it seems he’s suffering from clinical depression and anxiety. He can’t seem to make sense of all the circumstances in front of him.
He begins as he often does by describing the way his enemies have threatened him. He is terrified, worn out, and gripped with fear and horror. He wishes he could fly away like a bird to escape all of these evil plans. Then, in verse 12, he moves from a group of enemies to a friend. It seems like this is a new topic and not directly connected to the plea for help from his enemies.
Psalms 55:12-14 ESV For it is not an enemy who taunts me— then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me— then I could hide from him. 13 But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. 14 We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng.
This was not an enemy of David, but a friend. In fact, it was someone he worshipped with. The verb “know” used in this context speaks to an extremely intimate friendship. But, as quickly as David introduces this new topic, he is back again to writing in the plural form about his enemies from before.
Let death steal over them; let them go down to Sheol alive; for evil is in their dwelling place and in their heart. 16 But I call to God, and the LORD will save me.
Psalms 55:15-16 ESV
Once again, however, he returns to the familiar friend in verses 20 and 21.
My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. 21 His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords.
Psalms 55:20-21 ESV
The psalm ends with David finally resting on the truth that God saves the righteous and punishes the wicked. His closing statement is a commitment to trust.
So, what do we make of all this? First, I find it both comforting and helpful that David is so scattered in his prayer. This is not some kind of obscure and unrelatable situation. We have all dealt with people who hate us and seek to discredit our purpose. In David’s case, his life was being threatened. We have, likewise, all dealt with close friends who have turned on us. This can be devastating. When we experience both of those at the same time, it can be debilitating. We skip back and forth between the issues wondering, crying, hoping, and crying some more.
Do you feel like everything is piling up on you at once? David understands. Do you feel like you have no one you can trust? David understands. Do you feel like you just want to escape from the reality you face and flee to a different life? David understands.
“This psalm eloquently reflects the emotional roller coaster of one in pain. The twists and turns allow the audience to enter into that emotional territory. Its feeling of besiegement from within and without is one everyone has unfortunately experienced. Yet within the midst of being surrounded on all sides, the oasis is not found in that wished-for wilderness lodge, but in the confidence and security that the one suffering has God to deliver and to save.
Even in the midst of suffering and betrayal by human enemies and friends, the one praying knows that he can depend on God. Thousands of years later, we can still relate to the roller-coaster emotions of betrayal and fear and know, as this prayer claims, that we too can call upon God, the one enthroned from old, to come to our aid.”
Beth Tanner