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What does it really look like to come before God in humility and express your deepest grief for the sins of you and your people? I’m not talking about grief for consequences or fear of punishment. Taking those reasons out of the equation, what does it really look like to fall at the feet of the Father and cry out in desperation to Him?
The people of Israel had witnessed the miraculous works of God, and yet, they craved more. In their sin, they realized there was something missing. They needed God to rescue them time and time again, but what they really desired was more of His presence and power. The opening verse is crying out for God to repeat His miraculous works of the past and tear the sky open to lead His people. It is a cry of desperation and despair. It is a cry that bellows out from the valley of their sinful choices.
“All of us have been sinful; even our best actions are filthy through and through. Because of our sins we are like leaves that wither and are blown away by the wind.”
Isaiah 64:6 GNB
“…so do not be too angry with us or hold our sins against us forever. We are your people; be merciful to us.”
Isaiah 64:9 GNB
“LORD, are you unmoved by all this? Are you going to do nothing and make us suffer more than we can endure?”
Isaiah 64:12 GNB
Like a son or daughter who has squandered their last chance, the child returns to the Father begging to be forgiven once again. The real tension of this chapter is the expression of the people feeling their sin instead of just knowing it. It’s one thing to know that we sinned but it is a somewhat different experience to grieve our sin because it has separated us from our source of life and light.
We can know we are offending God but comparatively feel like we are “good enough.” We can know that we are hating others but if it’s in our minds then we seem to think it’s not so bad. We justify what we know all the time. To feel separated from our God hits on another level. When Adam and Eve sinned in the garden they knew they were going against God’s instruction. However, it wasn’t until God called for them that they experienced the full shame of being separated from Him.
When we truly feel our sin at even a fraction of the way God feels it, it sets the stage for change. Sometimes we feel unworthy to even talk to God because of how badly we have messed things up. But the truth is, He wants to hear from us. When repentance happens, we grow, but we can’t get there if we come half-hearted.
I have heard people say, I don’t really repent, I just try and do better next time. That is the result of someone who really doesn’t feel their sin like God does. When we take sin seriously, we understand the tremendous price that was paid at the cross for it! We are brought to life by amazing grace. Do not let yourself be tricked into simply knowing your sin, but pray for the conviction to feel it. We are all a work in progress.