2 Samuel 3 (Listen)
Abner Joins David
3:1 There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker.
2 And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David’s wife. These were born to David in Hebron.
6 While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. And Ish-bosheth said to Abner, “Why have you gone in to my father’s concubine?” 8 Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, “Am I a dog’s head of Judah? To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge me today with a fault concerning a woman. 9 God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the LORD has sworn to him, 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba.” 11 And Ish-bosheth could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him.
12 And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf,1 saying, “To whom does the land belong? Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand shall be with you to bring over all Israel to you.” 13 And he said, “Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face.” 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, “Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines.” 15 And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, “Go, return.” And he returned.
17 And Abner conferred with the elders of Israel, saying, “For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. 18 Now then bring it about, for the LORD has promised David, saying, ‘By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.’” 19 Abner also spoke to Benjamin. And then Abner went to tell David at Hebron all that Israel and the whole house of Benjamin thought good to do.
20 When Abner came with twenty men to David at Hebron, David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. 21 And Abner said to David, “I will arise and go and will gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires.” So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace.
22 Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, “Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace.” 24 Then Joab went to the king and said, “What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? 25 You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing.”
Joab Murders Abner
26 When Joab came out from David’s presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. 27 And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. 28 Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, “I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the LORD for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. 29 May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father’s house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!” 30 So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon.
David Mourns Abner
31 Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, “Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner.” And King David followed the bier. 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying,
“Should Abner die as a fool dies?
34 Your hands were not bound;
your feet were not fettered;
as one falls before the wicked
you have fallen.”
And all the people wept again over him. 35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, “God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!” 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king’s will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, “Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The LORD repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!”
Footnotes
[1] 3:12
(ESV)
2 Samuel 3 Commentary
In 2 Samuel 3, the house of David grew stronger while Saul’s house became weaker (2 Samuel 3:1). In Hebron, 6 sons were born to David by 6 different wives (2 Samuel 3:2-5). Meanwhile, Abner gained power within Saul’s house. When Ish-bosheth accused him of sleeping with Saul’s concubine Rizpah, Abner became angry and vowed to transfer the kingdom to David, fulfilling what the Lord had sworn (2 Samuel 3:6-10).
Ish-bosheth, afraid of Abner, said nothing (2 Samuel 3:11). Abner contacted David, offering to bring Israel under his rule. David agreed on the condition that Michal, his wife and Saul’s daughter, be returned to him (2 Samuel 3:12-13). Ish-bosheth complied, taking Michal from her husband Paltiel, who followed her weeping until Abner told him to return home (2 Samuel 3:14-16).
Abner then persuaded the elders of Israel and the tribe of Benjamin to support David, reminding them that God had promised to deliver Israel through him (2 Samuel 3:17-19). He met with David in Hebron, and after a peaceful banquet, left to gather all Israel (2 Samuel 3:20-21). Shortly after, Joab returned from a raid, heard about Abner’s visit, and accused him of spying (2 Samuel 3:22-25).
Without David’s knowledge, Joab sent for Abner and murdered him at the city gate in revenge for his brother Asahel’s death (2 Samuel 3:26-27; cf. 2 Samuel 2:23). When David heard, he declared his innocence and cursed Joab’s family line (2 Samuel 3:28-29). Joab and Abishai had acted out of personal vengeance (2 Samuel 3:30). David ordered public mourning for Abner, walked behind his coffin, wept at the burial, and sang a lament: “Should Abner die as a fool dies?” (2 Samuel 3:31-34). He refused to eat until sunset, and the people recognized his sincerity and knew he had no part in Abner’s death (2 Samuel 3:35-37).
David honored Abner as “a great leader” and expressed his own weakness in restraining Joab and Abishai, the sons of Zeruiah. He entrusted justice to the Lord, asking that the evildoer be repaid according to his actions (2 Samuel 3:38-39).
David’s Wives
Was it sinful for David to have 6 children with 6 different wives? The genealogical list illustrates David fulfilling the command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). It is important to know that the Torah permitted kings to possess more than one wife. However, their restriction was not to acquire “many wives” (Deut 17:17). So, in terms of Torah compliance, David may have been within the limit of “many” although many argue that he was sinful based on the sweep of Scripture. It is certainly a much clearer picture for us in the New Testament as we have witnessed Jesus’ Kingdom coming to earth (1 Tim 3:2, Tit 1:6).
David was a savvy politician. His marriages were strategic. Marrying women from different regions helped him consolidate power, especially in southern Judah (Ahinoam and Abigail). With Maacah, daughter of the king of Geshur, the strategy was to form an alliance that would pressure Ish-bosheth from the north.
Abner
Abner is Loyal to Saul’s House: Abner was a strong supporter of Saul’s dynasty. Even after Saul’s death, he backs Ish-bosheth and essentially installs him as king over Israel (2 Samuel 2:8-9). This delays David’s full reign over the united kingdom.
Abner Kills Asahel: During the battle at Gibeon, Abner kills Asahel, the brother of Joab and Abishai, in self-defense after repeatedly warning him to stop pursuing him (2 Samuel 2:19-23). This act sets off a long-standing blood feud with Joab.
Abner Changes (Or Not?): Ish-bosheth accuses Abner of having relations with one of his concubines, and Abner becomes deeply offended. However, the narrator tells us that Abner “kept acquiring more power in the house of Saul” (2 Samuel 3:6). It seems like he was preparing to usurp the throne.
He eventually offers to bring all of Israel over to David’s side (2 Samuel 3:12, 3:17-21). If the claims against him were false, it would have been Abner’s second go-around (Saul the first) with a king who is manipulative and delusional. I wonder if he simply reached his limit of dysfunction and realized, in that moment, that he was genuinely wrong about the path he was choosing to follow. Keep in mind, Abner also acknowledges that God has sworn the kingdom to David (2 Samuel 3:9-10).
Peacemaker or Opportunist? His actions can be seen as a repentant man trying to do the right thing by helping to unite the kingdom under God’s chosen king. However, they can also be seen as a politically savvy move to preserve his own influence once his position with Ish-bosheth becomes unstable. Later in Scripture, we read of how David really felt about this particular event. Hold that thought…
Joab
Joab is Loyal to David: Joab serves as commander of David’s army and is fiercely protective of David’s kingdom. When he hears that David met with Abner and let him go peacefully, Joab confronts David (2 Samuel 3:24-25), warning him that Abner is likely spying – a move that could be seen as protective.
Joab is Driven by Vengeance: Joab cannot forgive Abner for killing his brother Asahel in the battle at Gibeon (2 Samuel 2). Despite David’s peaceful intentions with Abner, Joab takes matters into his own hands. Without David’s knowledge, he lures Abner back to Hebron and murders him in cold blood (2 Samuel 3:26-27).
Joab is Disobedient and Politically Dangerous: Joab acts independently of David’s authority, undermining the king’s efforts to unify Israel. David publicly distances himself from Joab’s actions (2 Samuel 3:28-29), curses his family, and honors Abner with a state funeral to show his disapproval (2 Samuel 3:31-34).
Look at David’s deathbed confessional to Solomon later in life after Joab conspires with Adonijah to install him as the next king over Solomon:
“You also know what Joab son of Zeruiah did to me and what he did to the two commanders of Israel’s army, Abner son of Ner and Amasa son of Jether. He murdered them in a time of peace to avenge blood shed in war. He spilled that blood on his own waistband and on the sandals of his feet. [6] Act according to your wisdom, and do not let his gray head descend to Sheol in peace.
1 Kings 2:5-6 CSB
Solomon would go on to eventually command the death of Joab (1 Kings 2).
The Deal
David makes a shrewd bargain. He wants his wife back. After all, he paid 100 Philistine foreskins for her! Actually, he paid 200, but that’s a different story (1 Samuel 18). David agreed to Abner’s request on one condition: the return of his wife Michal (Saul’s daughter). This move helped David reestablish a legal connection to Saul’s house and strengthened his claim to the throne. Though Ish-Bosheth complied, the situation was painful for Michal’s current husband, Paltiel, who followed her in tears until Abner forced him to return home. This was caused by the sins of Saul, and it is still having an effect on his family long after his death.
David welcomed Abner with a feast and gave him permission to assemble all Israel to finalize David’s kingship. Abner left Hebron peacefully with David’s blessing to complete the transition of power.
The Murder
Acting on his own, Joab secretly sent messengers to bring Abner back, pretending David wanted to see him again. When Abner returned, Joab pulled him aside at the city gate in Hebron and stabbed him, killing him in revenge for Asahel.
This was a serious offense: Hebron was a city of refuge, where revenge killings weren’t allowed. Abner’s killing of Asahel had likely been self-defense, and he should’ve been protected by law. Joab’s act was personal and unlawful.
King David
When David found out Joab had murdered Abner, he made it clear that he had no part in it. He followed the law (Torah) by distancing himself from Joab, even placing a curse on Joab and his family for breaking God’s law. Joab’s brother Abishai and others involved were also blamed. David forced them to mourn Abner publicly, making them walk in front of the funeral procession wearing sackcloth.
David personally led the funeral, cried at the tomb, wrote a lament, and fasted the rest of the day. His public mourning showed genuine sorrow and respect. The people, especially those from the north, saw David’s sincerity. They realized he had no part in the murder and were pleased with how he handled everything.
For the first time, the text starts calling David “the king” instead of just using his name. This moment helped solidify his reputation and authority.
“For the first time in the biblical narrative—and in the very midst of Abner’s funeral procession, at that—the writer calls David “the king” (Hb. hammelek) in a nonquotational clause. For the writer—and thus for the astute reader—this tragedy transformed David; it provided a forum in which he could display his truly regal nature, and neither he nor the nation would ever be the same again.”
The New American Commentary