Paul moves from congregational conduct to leadership. There are two offices he addresses: the overseer and the deacon. Today, we would call an overseer a pastor and a deacon an elder. The difference between the two is that the pastor makes a living preaching the Gospel and leading the church (1 Cor 9:14) while the deacon does not.
This list is very practical. The leaders within a church body must live above reproach. This means when others look at your conduct and character, there is no room for accusations to be made against you. Paul feels there are strong parallels between a pastor’s family life and his church leadership. He even asks the question, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of God’s church?”
If a pastor’s wife does not respect him, his congregation won’t either. If a pastor’s kids do not listen to him, his congregation probably won’t either. This kind of standard also makes it impossible for a pastor to be one way at home and another way at church. Sooner or later, these two personas will bleed into each other and the truth will come out.
Another theme flowing through this first section on pastoral leadership is the idea of being teachable. In a world of self-promoting roosters, teachability is probably the most underrated characteristic of a leader. Self-control, common sense, and gentleness are all qualities of a teachable individual. Avoiding quarrels is an obvious one.
“Don’t go about the world with your fist doubled up for fighting, carrying a theological revolver in the leg of your trousers.”
C.H. Spurgeon
Keep in mind, it is not just believers who should have a high amount of respect for church leaders. They also must have a good reputation with outsiders. Is a Christian leader really sincere if his dealings outside the church are questionable?
Deacons are not held to less of a standard; the difference is found in their calling. Once again, we find an analogy to their family life being an important indicator of their spiritual leadership. An interesting note here is that Paul addresses wives as well indicating that women held the office of deaconess within the early church.
“The similar phrasing of v. 1Ti 3:8 seems to indicate that Paul was speaking of another office in the local body, the deaconess. These women, like deacons (vv. 1Ti 3:8-10, 1Ti 3:12-13), served under the leadership of the elders.”
Nelson’s Commentary
Overall, these are not just “recommendations.” They are standards that should be expected and required from those in leadership positions.